My Quandary

I need my privacy
I can’t afford it you see
Either monetarily or
In what it does to me

goofball golf

I’m thinking about changing my handle to “Sunbeam”…

deep into the back nine
way off in the weeds
i am not religious
but lord i’m on my knees
i gotta put some distance
between me and all the strife
help me make some sense
of the days left in my life
the fairways weren’t my thing
perhaps it’s a disease
i always took the shortcuts
look where it’s gotten me
am i lost forever
hidden in plain view
or is there some salvation
to make the old anew

circular firing squad

fast talk
fine print
define the times we’re living
every man
for himself
keeps the monster breathing
the young
the sick
the fairest game
yours for the taking
if you don’t
someone will
money’s what we’re making
watch your step
cover your tracks
you too are quite appealing
cannibals is what we are
and freedom’s what we’re stealing

thought for the day

It was as if the paper I printed my goals on was alight before I began. How was I to know it’d soaked in a scentless-incendiary oil that would consume me as if I’d never been? Should I have foreseen my dreams, shimmering like so many photons in precious stones, were in reality razor-sharp shards of glass? Should I have let go before I was shredded? I could not. The sparkle was mesmerizing — my own mental Milky Way.

I’ve little left and nothing to fall back on. Loss and failure have marked me. Other’s can smell it on me even in cyberspace. Finally accepting that the outskirts of normalcy was as close as I’d ever get to the cookie-cutter world saved my life. Was the price too high? I’m free to try and find a path with enough peace to keep me from the unthinkable. Conversely, as the desire has gone, so has my ability to fake it. My disdain for squares and their world is glaring. I scare people. That’s dangerous.

life’s coming down

adversity’s not my thing
i like easy, crisp, and clean
cashing in a second chance
never giving a backward glance
but time’s piled up and i’m less free
there’s nothing’s between the wolves and me
down a pawn a rook a queen
life hasn’t worked out the way i’d dreamed
i push curse pray and yet
the further behind in time i get
there is no safety joy or peace
only loss’ lifetime lease

of course

Here another from the psychotropic detox nightmare of amost exactly two years ago now. In some of them I think I have an idea what I was getting at. Mostly, though, I have no clue. I was someone else coming from some place else. I was fucked up…

Betrayed.
Frayed.
Prayed.
What difference has it made?

Are choices really choices?
Or is our path etched in rock before we breathe on our own?
Are we masters of our fates?
Or destined?

lab rats of lesser gods

first do no harm
then prescribe some of these
should they not work
then they’d better hit their knees
how am i to do
what a bigger god chose not to
so first do no harm
then prescribe some of these

flying blind

I need to do something
I can tell
I know I don’t
But feel I do
Do or don’t — need or want
It’s all a mystery to me

Should I go here or there
Never knowing how or why
Should I push on
Or try and get back
Is there even a back
When the me that was back there is me no longer

What’s going to happen
Will I suddenly seize the day
Make up for mistakes in a single stellar stroke
Or will the stab be another stumble
Something less than masterful
Something more akin to disaster

true brood of vipers

What would Jesus do
I have no clue
Never met the dude
Just red words altogether ignored
By those who’d pose the question
What would Jesus do

adjustment

I’ve added Authors as a parent category with each author as a child to Authors. I’ve also added a few others. Until a post is categorized with at least one example of that category the categories won’t show in the sidebar. They are, however, ready for your selection just after tags below. Feel free to go back and add yourself in your category and to add any additional ones, tags, or whatever. If you’d like to see a category that hasn’t been added yet let me know and I’ll add it.

BTW I’m not sure what’s going on with the “uncategorized” category. In past lives wordpress.com would use uncategorized or whatever you renamed it as the default category in case no category was chosen. Doesn’t seem to work like that anymore. If no category is selected is defaults to “1″ for some god-awful reason.

Between us and the wp team we’ll get the kinks out eventually.

Happy trails.